Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Shakespeare Never Got THIS

I just did the dorkiest thing. So I'm sitting on the couch watching Friends re-runs, reading blogs, and browsing job listings (Can you be a rabbi's assistant if you're not Jewish?) when I stumbled upon a comment from Mainland Streel, a wonderfully quirky writer that not only writes a hilarious blog but also (and more importantly) feeds my blog-go (blog-go = your ego in relation to your blog. See what I did there? Thank you very much, Bachelor's in English, my parents can finally be proud. Wait. Never mind. I just re-read it.)

Anyway. Mainland Steel. She's awesome. And not just because she has awarded me with my first ever blog award: THE BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER AWARD! (I added the caps.)

What's the Beautiful Blogger Award? you ask. Well, I'll tell you.

Ta-da! Yes. I know. And it comes with these rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers you recently discovered and you think are fantastic!

4. Contact the bloggers you picked and let them know about the award.

So, thank you, Mainland Steel. I wish you health, happiness, and lots of bloggers. Oh. The dorky thing I did...When I read that I got an award I actually threw my hands up to my face and went, "Oooooh!" like one of those little cartoon girls from the 50's, except instead of wearing a cute little dress and corkscrew curls I'm wearing a toothpaste-stained sweatshirt and my Don King-bed hair. But I digress. On to rule #2...

...7 things:

1. I'm really short, so when I tell people my height I round up and then round up again (and sometimes again). In reality, I'm almost 4'11", which (of course) rounds up to 4'11", which rounds up to 4'11 1/2" (obviously), which (depending on who I'm talking to) rounds out to an even 5'.

2. When I was about 8, I auditioned for a local production of Annie. When I was about 18, my mom told me that when I would practice The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, she didn't have the heart to tell me that I had a horrible voice.

3. In college I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with my tweezers and had to go to the emergency room. And I had to wear a temporary eye patch.

4. I eat brown sugar by the spoonful.

5. Sesame Street irritated me when I was a little kid. I much preferred the mature company of Mr. Rogers. I know. I was a snotty, little shit.

6. I still have to use my fingers when doing addition in my head.

7. I used to have a Furby, and my favorite thing to do would be to put him in the backseat of my car. Whenever I'd drive around, I could hear him making noises and it would entertain me to no end. He sounded like a munchkin on a roller-coaster.

Now. Time to pass the torch...

Sassy at The Sassy Curmudgeon. Her blog is THE SHIT. I'm sure she already has a ton of these, but she's the first blog I started to follow, and her sass and creativity inspire me.

Kate at I Am the Worst Blogger. Kate is awesome because she posts hilarious Internet clips. She's like that friend that keeps sending those damn chain emails about friendship and if you don't email this to 489 people you'll never have any friends. Except she's totally awesome. She also has this really cool link that will take you to one of her older blogs at random. Also, she was my very first follower that was not already someone that I knew and jui-guilt-suied into joining.

My Inflammatory Writ. This girl is a beautiful writer. Sometimes her posts are funny, sometimes they're poetic, sometimes thought-provoking. Love her.

Lucky Punk at Lucky Punk. She's funny and edgy. When I read her blog I wear a leather jacket because she's so bad ass.

Allie at Hyperbole and A Half. Following this blog reminds me how to spell "hyperbole". She's hilarious and needs her own show.

Okay. Done. My right ass cheek is asleep so I have to get up from the couch.


  1. Well done on your award. And hey, you are clever- you will find a job.

  2. Hey, thank you so very much for the award!

  3. Wait, do you mean me Lucky Punk? I am sitting on my own sofa, with my own Don King hair, catching up on blogs and watching 30 Rock (of course wearing a leather jacket because I am so badass I'm never without it) and I literally did a double take. In fact, I scrolled back up and reread your list three times.
    Congratulations on your award - well-deserved.
    If you do mean me, THANK YOU, I can't hardly believe it. And if you mean some other Lucky Punk, well, then, I'll take Allie's advice at Hyperbole and a Half and distract you from my faux pas: Boop! Plane! Acid dingo spit!

  4. Btw, the links aren't working for me. :(

  5. @Lucky Punk - Yes, YOU! Congrats, well deserved.
    @Kate - Do you mean the links to the awarded bloggers? If so, I didn't link...shit. Was I suppossed to do that? I'll try it later. The whole copy/paste of the award was a feat in itself.
    @the rest of you wonderful commenters - thank you! I am gracious and not worthy, but delirious with praise.

  6. Hee hee! Your "oooh!" made a funny mental picture. I'm glad to have given you an award... I love your blog! :)

    Your tweezers story is hilarious! It reminds me a little of the time I got a silicon earplug lodged deep in my ear and had to have a doctor pull it out for me. I don't think my boss believed my reason for being late for work. :)

  7. I found you on Mainland Streel's blog (haha, there she is above me) ... I too am unemployed so I had to follow you :)

    Congrats on the award!

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

  8. Congratulations on the award!!! Personally, as a child, Mr. Rogers annoyed my mother SO much, that he was banned from our house. So I learned to count AND speak French with Sesame street...both of which I have forgotten, as I too need to use my fingers to do simple math